The Super Bowl-shit Begins..

I was really hoping it wouldn’t get out of hand until game day, but the bullshit is already overpowering our fair city.

I let all the signage and advertising go. After all, the fact that the Superbowl is here is some kind of big deal, or something. But I just witnessed three separate blatant stupid moments within a 10 minute period, and I’m not going to be dealing with this anymore.

1. I went to the bank to deposit my paycheck and pay rent. When I pulled into the parking lot, a guy with a “parking – $10″ sign was waving me in. This is the BANK parking lot, sandwiched between K-Mart and Miami Subs. As I pull in, he tries to point me to the front of the parking lot, but I keep driving back to get to the bank. He screams out, “YOU CAN’T PARK THERE!” I return, “GOING TO MY BANK!” and continue to drive away. Then, I go to where I always park and I park my car and proceed to get out. He runs up to me and this conversation begins:

Him: It’ll be $10.
Me: For what? This is my bank. I’m going in to make a deposit.
Him: No, you’re going to pay me $10. This is our parking lot this weekend.
Me: No, it’s not. It’s not the weekend. This isn’t your parking lot.
Him: K-Mart gave us permission to use it, so we’re charging for parking, now pay up.
Me: Listen, kid, it’s not the weekend, this isn’t your parking lot and I’m going into the bank.
Him: I’ll have your car towed.
Me: You put a fucking hand on my fucking car and I’ll break every bone in your body. Go bother someone else, you fucking flea. Fuck off.
Him: Sir! You have to…

I walk away from him, not listening. Go in the bank, make my deposit. Tell them about the incident. Apparently, this has been happening all day. “We’ll call Security.” So, I go to leave and the guy is on me about it again. I snap at him, “YOU FUCKING SHIT. YOU’VE FUCKING HAD IT.” I get right up in his face, slamming my chest against his as I force him back against my car. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE OR I WILL RUN YOU OVER.” He proceeds to get on his walkie, screaming to the other attendants to come help him. I get in my car, slam it into reverse and pull out quickly, narrowly missing him. “I got your license plate! I’m calling the cops!”

Let him. Let him call the cops when I’m parking at my bank to make a deposit. I guarantee you Tampa’s finest won’t even think twice about telling that guy where to jam it.

2. Second incident, less than 2 minutes later. I’m at Columbus and Himes making a left into the 5th/3rd Parking Lot. There’s a crowd of guys, probably in their late 20s, wearing Steelers jerseys crossing the street in front of me. I notice they are all drinking, in public, at 11:30AM! Blatant disrespect for the law, they are walking with beers, opened and chugging gleefully. I let this go.. after all, it’s a celebration, right?

To add to the obnoxious screaming and throwing themselves at cars parked at the light, they top off their parade of terror by proceeding to throw a bag of food waste in front of my car on Columbus. Who does that? What complete lack of respect is bred into these fucktards that makes them think they can treat our city like this?

3. Lastly, was all of the obvious out-of-towners driving around, disrupting the flow of traffic. I know that any event that brings people in will bring traffic. I know this. But it shouldn’t take over an hour to get from Columbus/Dale Mabry to Columbus/Nebraska. It just shouldn’t. That’s a 15 minute drive on most days. I’ve never had it be more than a 30 minute drive. It just took 1 hour, 7 minutes. That’s way, way too long, even for lunch time during the Superbowl weekend.

So… what do I make of all of this? It’s really simple for me, really. The next time a big event comes into town, I’m leaving. I’m going to sublet my place for the week/weekend and I’m going to get as far away from this as possible. Denis Out!

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